October 2016

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“Aim at heaven and you will get earth ‘thrown in,” C.S.  Lewis reminds us. “Aim at earth and you will get neither.”

I’ve been thinking about this quote today as I have seen people’s friendships being torn apart over politics. Concern for Amos’s health has given me a much needed break from political tensions.

Amos used to be very involved in politics. In high school he and his best friend were in a club called “The Young Republicans.” They planned to take the White House by storm as president and vice president as soon as they were 35. It’s funny how life experiences can change our views and goals.

Amos studies canditates and issues, votes and doesn’t hide from civic engagement but he doesn’t feel those things are as important as other things. They definitely aren’t more important to him than relationships with friends or family. His aim often seems to be moving ever higher than this world as he serves God.

I realize I cry too much but yesterday was a day full of tears of gratitude as I noticed the support of our ward family encircling us in the form of planning a special fast for Bishop ending with a ward prayer in the cultural hall after church, having an amazing dinner and visit from the Elwoods and having dinner and all kinds of other support with kids set up for the whole week. Somehow they knew I was struggling to hold things together.

Last night Evelyn gave a family night lesson on gratitude. It got me thinking of all the detailed circumstances that had to fall in place perfectly for us to be where we are in this area with Amos serving as bishop, secured with a job and a home that we own when this cancer diagnosis hit. If it had come before he finished school or his internship, our family’s financial survival would have been unsustainable.

I have also been grateful for Evelyn and feel strongly that her talents are a gift from above possibly meant to help us through this time. Some of our most profound support in this trial has come from “Evie Clair Fans”- individuals we have never met – who were drawn to her and drawn to help us through this. They lift and inspire us daily.

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This letter from the missionary department of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hangs in Evelyn’s room as one of her most prized possessions. She loves that her music allows her to serve as a kind of missionary in some small way.

I’m still in daily contact with AGT and have been introduced to new members of the team working to get Evie on the show.

I called Jane today, our coordinator at the cancer center. She is going to talk to the oncologist about tests to find out what may be causing Amos’s current back pain. She also let me know she submitted our name to a foundation that offers family vacations to Orlando for terminal cancer patients. We learned about the foundation from someone who reads the blog. We will all be pretty excited if that works out since Amos’s dad lives in Orlando and he misses him so much.

 

 

I’m not even sure how to write this post. I had all kinds of spiritual and fun things to write about today since we had the kid’s primary program at church and Buddy’s family over for dinner. I’ll have to save those things for tomorrow since I may need to take Amos to the ER tonight.

I’m not really sure if a person can have withdrawls from chemo, but the crippling pain Amos experienced in his back that brought us to learn about his cancer 6 months ago is back tonight. This is the first time he has felt it since before his surgery. It may just be a coincidence that it is happening just after missing a chemo treatment.

After family scripture study and prayer tonight he had to crawl up the stairs to his room. 

I’m not sure what they would be able to do in the ER aside from pain relief so I’ll watch him for a while and see if he can fall asleep.