One thing I have learned through this experience is that it has been a story of true love.
The last thing Amos said to me last week was “I love you!” He has said it to me a million times over the past 20 years but I know it without him ever saying it. He showed me by the way he treated me with respect and served me and sacrificed for our family. He even blew out his knee defending my honor once.
I have been missing him and struggling as I cleaned out our room today. I left his clothes hanging in the closet for now because and can’t quite seem to remove them yet.
A trusted friend sent me an email this morning that hit me hard…
“Let me start by saying how sorry we are to hear that Amos has passed away. He and your family have been an example of faith, perseverance, love, and humility as you have faced your challenges. I am not sure if you are aware, but Amos and I had a few interactions via email over the last 18 months or so. I have included them below. As you will see in those emails, I will always remember Amos for two specific things: 1) his example of service and 2) even more powerful, his love for his family.
I also wanted to share with you a dream that I had last night. I was sitting in the stands at a baseball game. My wife was to my right and Amos was to my left. He and I were engaged in small talk. “How are things?” “How is work?” “How is the family?” I shared with him that our family has really enjoyed watching Evelyn on America’s Got Talent. He responded by saying, “Thank you for praying for my family.” While still dreaming, I was suddenly struck with reality and I remembered that Amos had passed away. I asked, “Is this real?!” I got my wife’s attention and asked her, “Do you see Amos?” Before she could respond, Amos said, “Tell Hillary I love her.” With that, he was gone and I woke up.
I have no idea how I would respond if I were in your shoes and received an email like this. For this reason, I really debated even telling you about it. My dreams are generally random, confusing, and insignificant. I ask myself why would someone who is fairly removed from the situation have this type of interaction. I have known others who have passed away including my grandmother and my father-in-law and I have never had a dream that involved them. Ultimately, I decided to share this experience with you for two reasons. First, although I do not understand why I would have a dream with Amos, it was a very special experience for me and is something I will remember for the rest of my life. I share it with you so you know that even after his death, he has continued to positively impact others. Second, his final comment to me is one of the most vivid parts of the dream. It strengthens my testimony that temple marriages are forever and specifically shows me that his love for you is eternal.
Your family continues to be in our prayers. Our lives have been blessed by yours and we thank you for that. Our hope is that you will be comforted at this time and that the void you feel currently will be replaced with the joyous memories of Amos, the knowledge of God’s eternal plan for us, and the peace provided by the Comforter.”