Amos was able to watch his sweet Evie advance to the Semi Finals of America’s Got Talent tonight from his hospital bed. This put some light in his eyes tonight. He and grandma and Aunt Phoebe all cheered her on and I was so thankful to be able to see his reaction.

I’m also so thankful to the producers of America’s Got Talent who consider every detail and will let us go home tomorrow to see Amos. I am so excited to see him for how ever long we will get to be home.

This experience on America’s Got Talent has been extraordinary for our family in many ways and we are filled with so much gratitude.

Thank you all for voting for her yesterday and jumping on again today to save her.

We will bask in the glory of today and not talk about medical stuff right now.

My kids went to the beach with aunts, uncles and cousins today while Evie was show prepping all day at Dolby Theater.



We’ll Remember Tonight

My blog is late today but this day has been so full that it spilled over to the next day. I agree with the lyrics in Evie’s song “We’ll remember tonight for the rest of our lives.”

Not being with Amos on our anniversary was difficult but it was also about the most special and memorable anniversary I can remember. Evie’s light shined so brightly that the whole world had a glimpse of the love we have in our marriage and our home.

So many people helped us feel loved and comforted today. I didn’t expect Simon Cowell to be one of those people but it was so thoughtful of him to publicly send his love to Amos. We have also felt that genuine love and concern from the entire America’s Got Talent staff   and even other contestants and their families.

Amos fought all day to be awake and ready for the show. Thankfully AGT sent him a link to watch it since the Trump rally in Phoenix and violent after effects superseded America’s Got Talent in Arizona. His oncologist walked into his hospital room tonight just as he was watching Evie so Dr K had a chance to see her too. It isn’t hard to find a link to watch a clip but I suggest watching the whole show on They have an incredible tribute to Amos where they show him at the prison and at church as bishop. It was incredible from start to finish.

Amos is really struggling today despite his will to enjoy the show. The things he is enduring are unimaginable. They are considering a procedure that would permanently numb parts of his digestive tract so he could live with less pain medication.

Some good news…the ostomy specialist came and found that the blood in the ostomy was from a leaky blood vessel near the opening and not a perforation in the bowel.


In music a crescendo is where you get louder or build up to something bigger. We are building up to the big day tomorrow and it’s getting very exciting.  Today has been my favorite since my babies are finally here.

They make me so happy. Their snuggles are helping to ease the heartache I feel being away from my sweetheart. It doesn’t look like he will make it here tomorrow.

He started bleeding from his ostomy today. It was alarming to him but the CT scan didn’t show any major cause for it. The doctors are baffled in how to help him but are doing the best they can.

He had to have a catheter put in today. It is helping him sleep because he was having increasing trouble emptying his bladder and was up every hour in the night.

Thank you Phoebe for staying to care for him. I know you wanted to be here.

Not only is tomorrow our daughter’s first live performance on national television, but it is also our 20th wedding anniversary. I don’t think anything in life this far will be more difficult than being away from him tomorrow. I love you Amos and I’m looking forward to many more anniversaries with you. Please keep fighting, rest and build up your strength for better days to come.


God Answers Texts

Last night Amos was concerned about today in that it was Sunday and he is still in the hospital and would miss taking the sacrament. He was worried about Evie and I also and hoping somehow we would find a way to take the sacrament here in Hollywood. He began writing a text message to me asking about the sacrament but he was too weak to finish it before falling asleep.

This morning I became curious about why Amos hadn’t answered any of my text messages for days. I asked his mom to make sure he had his cell phone so he could answer me. When she did, they found the unsent message about sacrament he had tried to send and they realized that just after he wrote that text, Brother Elwood had notified Phoebe of their plans to come to the hospital after church to bless and administer the sacrament to bishop.

Amos learned of the timing of the happenings and said “God answers texts.” #miracles

Evie and I were also able to attend church today in Inglewood where we got to see Elder Ballard again. He began his talk with pure honesty about how he loved being there with the saints in California, but that his heart’s desire was to be home with his wife who isn’t well. I think I know how he feels. She called him before the meeting to ask where he was. He said, “Los Angeles” and she responded “Where’s that?” You could tell how much this dear almost 90 year old apostle still loved and missed his aging bride.

I also learned a few more details about my son’s car repair from the other day from Amos’s mom. She texted

“…Brother Martin just happened to have Friday off and could look at it (Porter’s Car) Apparently he’s an awesome mechanic. He found a cracked tank, took it out and had the impression to go to Auto Zone. He never goes there. When he walked in with the tank in his had the guy said “that’s for a BMW”, reached behind him and handed him the part. He said I’ll need the hose too. The guy went back and handed him the hose. He said someone had ordered them a long time ago and never came back to get them. He said they take 6 to 8 months to come in. (#miracles)

After a very spiritual sacrament service, Amos asked me to reply to a text he’d received. It was from a man whose father died in 2006 of non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Every year they have a benefit softball tourney and donate all the proceeds to a cancer patient. They had been made aware of Amos recently and want him to be this year’s recipient. Needless to say there have been many tears shed today. It was a great experience for me and I think for Abbe also. I’m hoping for more miracles tomorrow. Love you and Evie.”

Two Steps Forward One Step Back

Thank You Phoebe and grandma and Abbe and Sarah and Missie and my dad for your help today. We seem to have gone two steps forward then one step back today on Amos’s lab results but the doctors can’t really figure out why. They are puzzled because his cultures have come back negative for infections but the white blood cell counts tell a different story. Until they figure out what is happening they do not think it’s safe to discharge him.

He was able to make it out to the waiting room to see the kids today and I’m so grateful for that. They were a little teary-eyed when they saw him. He told them that people die, it’s part of life and it’s nothing to be afraid of because we know that we are eternal and will be resurrected.  He continued with focus on Kirra who seems to worry the most. “Yes, people die but that isn’t what’s happening here. I will get better.” 

Aunt Sarah, thank you for taking my kids to the Mesa Temple Visitor’s Center today. I know they loved that.

Evie and I had a really special evening thanks to my dear childhood friend, Lara Reeb, now Frandsen, who happens to live near Hollywood. She sent her amazing husband, Steve, and their children to pick us up and take us to a special youth meeting with two of The Twelve Apostles. Elder Ballard and Elder Rasband’s words and spirit were exactly what we needed after a week in Hollywood. I went with a prayer and a spiritual question in my heart. Elder  Ballard said something in the last 10 seconds that answered my question in a remarkable and unexpected way.

The Fransens then took us for dinner and it was wonderful to become instant friends.

Here are a few more back stage pictures from our exciting day. Evie got to rehearse in Mel B’s dressing room and had lots of fun with Celine and Dion Tam. I took a little tumble from some water that had spilled on a slippery floor and hurt my foot. I’ll be fine. Thanks for the Advil Steve. He told Evie if she was still around this Saturday, he would take her surfing with his kids. 

Our Eternal Family

“The urine cultures came back clean which is good news for Amos’s bladder and kidneys. It appears as though the infection is staying in the uterine tract. They are watching his labs closely. His white counts were 22.7 when he was admitted and is now 17.4. Normal is between 3-11 but at least we are heading in the right direction. Bilirubin should be between 0.2-1.3. Amos was at a 3.0 when they admitted him and is now at 2.3. Potassium levels have evened out.”

Thank you for these stats Phoebe. It is a miracle to see him fighting back  when so many people believed he was at the end. #miracles #teamamos Phoebe’s friend Andrea made this for us. I absolutely love it. We are a family in this life and for eternity.

He is eating regular food again, only drained a tiny amount of liquid from his stomach lining and hasn’t vomited at all today. Thanks for the picture Sandi.

He seems to be doing so much better now than even before I left. He had physical therapy again today and they said he did better than yesterday. He also got a shower and from what I hear, he has been pretty funny today. At least 3 people sent me funny things he said.

Evie had to go to school on set again today. We found out her teacher was also an on set teacher for the singer Birdy about 5 years ago. She also had some good rehearsals and did some other fun stuff for her set that is top secret. Only 3 and a half days until she is live in front of the world. You can vote 10 times in 3 different ways: Phone,Facebook/ and the America’s Got Talent app. Each person could vote for Evie Clair 30 times and I need help getting the word out.

My special thanks today goes to Brother Neil Martin who took the initiative to come fix Porter’s car.  What an incredible service. I can’t get over the kind things people do for us.

Staying Positive

I was glad to find out there was no blockage and Amos will not need surgery after all. Here is Phoebe’s update for today…

“Amos’s infection seems to be getting better, they have ruled out Cepis, a more serious infection that is common in late stage cancer patients so they are just continuing to hammer away at the UTI and it is working. We are still waiting on labs but Amos is more alert and asking for food and to move more. He felt good enough for the Physical Therapist team to come work with him! He did some stretches, went for a walk and even had speech and swallow therapy and was cleared to eat soft foods!! Woo hoo! 👏😃 he was happy about that! Everyone was so impressed with is determination and how much he accomplished today! The pain Dr. was impressed too and is going to cut back on pain meds and alternate with anti inflammatory meds so he can stay more alert! It is helping already. He is now taking a much deserved nap and we will limit visitors this evening.”

He’s a fighter and I’m so proud of him for staying positive and working his way back from this.  Evie and I fasted for him this morning and we feel good about his improvement. We still hope we might see him show up in California before the live show Tuesday and we are looking forward to some clinical trials his doctor thinks may soon be ready for him.

My sister Phoebe is doing a wonderful job with his care and he is so grateful as am I. Her empathy and positive outlook is exactly what he needs right now. This is a mental battle as much as a physical one and Amos is as mentally strong as they come.

I have seen that strength in Evie this week too. She is staying positive, building relationships, improving her skills and pushing forward.

I have seen God’s hand in every step of this journey and I am excited to see how He will show His power through two of His faithful and humble servants. Evie loves and misses her dad as do my other children. Can’t wait till we are all together again.

Wacky Wednesday

Today was Wacky Wednesday at my girl’s school and in our lives. It’s wacky because such horrible and such wonderful things are happening all at the same time and it’s hard to know how to feel from moment to moment.

I’m in Hollywood helping my daughter follow her dreams by competing for the Semi Finals of America’s Got Talent while my husband is struggling for his life with complications from late stage colon cancer at the hospital back in Arizona. My sisters are holding things together and my husband’s bishopric counselors are helping with my wacky little girls and holding the ward together.

Here are the updates on Amos from Phoebe at the hospital today…


“Dr. K just came by to check on Amos. He said a liver blockage and infection can cause the drowsy, exhausted, confused state that amos is in. He wants the MRCPU scan done even though he already had the CT. No water allowed yet. He confirmed that Amos has a urinary tract infection as well. He is working with the pain specialist and they will be giving Amos a Dilloded pump while he is here and he will keep the patch. They will also be giving him steroids and Torodol for inflammation and this should help with his energy and pain as well. I will update you after the next procedure. They also confirmed that they will be voting for Evie next week!👍💕”


“Amos is now hooked up to the pain pump. They are done with procedures today and are now moving him up to the 5th floor. Hopefully he will finally get some rest until they hook up his TPN at 10:00. Results and procedures tomorrow! 👍💕”

Thank you everyone!!

When we started this AGT thing, they were concerned that it would get too difficult at some point. I reassured them that it most certainly would but that I knew I had an army of angels to make it all work out.

We were so excited to see the group “In the Stair Well” get through tonight. We had a member of that group approach Evie and introduce himself as Mormon. He is adorable and sweet and his family are big Evie Clair fans. We learned that he recently returned from a mission to Japan and is now in the Airforce.

We were also super excited for our other friends who made it through the cut tonight.

Amos had one of his wrestlers come to visit him today because he was already in the hospital with his wife who was delivering their first baby.

Internal Battle

Today Evie and I woke up and went to her call time at the Dolby.  It was incredible to see everyone getting ready for the first big live show of the season.

After her rehearsal I was feeling some anxiety about Amos and wanted to get back to the hotel. Evelyn is trying to get over a cold so we stopped to get some vitamin c, echinacea and goldseal as prescribed by her AGT vocal coach.

When we got back, I did a FaceTime call with Amos who was at his doctor’s appointment at the cancer center.

My anxiety increased as I saw and heard him. He seemed to have gotten much worse just since yesterday as he struggled to get out a few words. I thought he may be over medicated but when they got his labs back they found a more urgent problem. They believe he has a blockage in his liver that is causing an infection. His white blood cell count doubled in the past week indicating an internal battle. More tests are still being done and a surgery to remove the blockage and place a stent in his liver are underway. He has been admitted to the hospital and I am trying to collect myself.

Evie and I had a prayer together for him and Phoebe’s husband Ken and his brother Rob went to the hospital to give him a blessing. They had me on speakerphone to hear it and it was so reassuring for me. Thank you.

Margine Saves the Day

Evie and I said our goodbyes to Amos this morning before jumping on a plane. We will miss him but know he is in good hands.

My girls were supposed to dress up as animals this morning for spirit week and I thought Phoebe did a cute job helping them pull it off.

The true hero of the day besides Phoebe was Amos’s nurse Margine from Aegis. They are the best home care company ever. We went to change Amos’s Fentanyl patch yesterday and realized there weren’t any left.

I tried Amos’s oncologist’s nurse who never responded. Then I tried the oncologist directly who said he couldn’t call in a refill on a controlled substance.

Margine said it would be difficult but didn’t give up. She had to go through lots of red tape to make it happen so fast but had them delivered to our home before the end of the day.

Phoebe was so relieved and Amos is doing better with new pain patch tonight. He has another appointment with Kundranda tomorrow and I hope they will be able to think outside the box on a new plan for Amos’s treatment.

Evie and I made it to Hollywood today. We ran into Celine Tam, Darci Lynn Farmer, Pompeyo Family Dogs and Yoli Mayor. We are excited to see the first group hit the stage tomorrow and begin preparations for Evie to perform live next Tuesday at the Dolby Theater.

Tonight we went to see Dunkirk (wow) at the historic Mann’s Chinese Theatre. I was sad to see that they have renamed it TCL Chinese Theatre since my maiden name was Mann and I always used to think it belonged to me.

Porter landed the roll of Antony in his high school’s production of Sweeney Todd. I am so excited that he even had the slightest desire to be involved in a musical. Congratulations Porter.

Thank you to whoever brought dinner to my family tonight. Also many thanks to Sean and Rebecca who had room at their home for Bree and Tanner this weekend. Love having friends with spare rooms.