The effects from the Chemotherapy started yesterday and have continued constantly for the past 27 hours. I keep asking him how he’s feeling (for posterity) and he can’t describe it or localize the pain very well. He just makes sounds like poor Wesley made after being tortured by “The Machine” in Princess Bride.
Amos says his body is betraying him. His stomach is constantly churning but he can’t get any relief from vomiting. He says it isn’t pain although he does have occasional sharp pains. The terrible part has just been an extreme feeling of nausea with no sign of relief. He is on Zofran for the nausea but it doesn’t seem to help. I have to force him to eat and drink. He is extremely lethargic and seems to have lost his motivation to do anything. I have never seen him this way. I said yesterday that it was like the flu, but this seems to be much different.
Chemotherapy kills cells that divide quickly so while it kills the tumor cells, it also kills good cells like the ones that line his intestines. Since his cancer was already in his intestines, this seems to be putting more stress on them.
He didn’t make it to the ward party last night, but when I came back to check on him I found him on floor in the bathroom almost asleep next to the toilet. I read online about how it’s better if we don’t leave him alone.
I am so proud of him for being strong and making it through the whole 3 hours of church today. That may be the hardest thing he’s ever done with the constant pull he feels to hide within himself. All morning he kept wanting to get up and be positive, but kept getting draw back to sleep or sadness. He says the only relief he can find is sleep. He felt sad about it since he loves to treat me like a queen on Mother’s Day. I was grateful for a chance in 18 years to get to serve him on Mother’s Day instead.
Keeping him eating and keeping his mind distracted have been important. Beautiful music, beautiful food, pleasant smells and peace in the home have been important. I am so grateful to my children for providing the beautiful music. This song contains lyrics from at least a dozen LDS primary songs. I am so impressed with the lyrical brilliance of Calee Reed. The lyrics also perfectly describe how I feel about my angel mother.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you. Amos is so happy that his mom is coming back tomorrow.